


happy fucking christmas

by popnographic



Series: SouHaru drabbles [10]
Category: Free!
Genre: Idiots, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Poor attempts at comedy, Smut, Ugly Holiday Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 17:13:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5383751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popnographic/pseuds/popnographic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru's new Christmas sweater, courtesy of Rin, causes problems. <i>Really</i> big problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	happy fucking christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ishka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishka/gifts).



> It began with [Iska](http://iskabee.tumblr.com) looking up Christmas sweaters, and then I found [this](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/257408544/dear-santa-define-good-ugly-christmas?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_d-clothing-womens_clothing-hoodies_and_sweatshirts&utm_custom1=4195733d-b19a-44d4-89f8-b6248e28fb29&gclid=CJuPrseNzckCFaVQ2wode1oDag) and to me, it just screamed "Haru teasing Sousuke wearing only this and nothing else". So.
> 
> Iska's fic can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5384543).
> 
> Absolutely AMAZING fanart of Haru wearing the sweater (probably with a capital T and S) was submitted to me by the wonderful Tumblr user [kkaru](http://kkaru.tumblr.com), which you can find [here](http://popnographic.tk/post/134822138043/its-rly-bad-but-i-love-all-you-write-so-i-had-to)!

“I’m home,” he calls when going in through the door, and Sousuke sighs deeply upon doing so. It’s been a _very_ long day at the office, and he’s looking forward to a few days of _not_ having to return to work. The things he has to do for his job sometimes makes him question if it’s really worth staying. If anything, the _salary_ sure does.

One day, though, he wishes to at least move up one department to not have to deal with the slow fuckers down at the third department sending him the most trivial tasks. Sometimes it feels like they’re asking him to solve a twenty-piece puzzle, and like they are the kind of people who at a young age shoved the square peg into the round hole.

“I’m in the kitchen,” Haruka says back, and Sousuke removes his shoes to walk inside. The cold floor makes him shiver, and he hurries to find his slippers before walking further inside the house. Haruka’s stubborn when it comes to turning on the heat in the house, and usually just ‘compensates’ by having the kotatsu turned on at all times and taking hot baths for hours.

Sousuke pads into the kitchen, and stops dead in his tracks what Haruka’s wearing, and what he… _isn’t_ wearing. He swallows hard, feeling his heartbeat pick up its pace.

“What… what _is_ that?” he asks, realising he’s whispering for some reason. Haruka turns around, and Sousuke’s eyes widen at the caption on Haruka’s ugly shirt.

“Early Christmas gift from Rin, since they’d be in Australia now.”

Sousuke tries to laugh, but it comes out awkward and not at all like himself. “Should’ve figured it was him. I’m sorry, but I have to say this. I love you, but that sweater is the ugliest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

Haruka snorts. “I don’t care. I like it, and it’s cosy. At least _you’re_ not wearing it, be glad for that.”

“Yeah, believe me—I am.” He clears his throat. “So… what… what do _you_ define as good?”

Haruka shrugs. “I don’t know. That’s why the shirt is asking _Santa_ , because I _don’t_ know.”

“I think you’ve been good,” Sousuke says as he walks up to Haruka, subsequently backing him up against the counter. It reminds him of high school. “Really good.”

“Last time I checked, you weren’t Santa,” Haruka says, raising an eyebrow at him.

Sousuke doesn’t miss the mischievous glint in Haruka’s eyes, though.

And despite the hideous maroon colour on Haruka’s shirt and the ” _Santa, define ‘good’_ ” caption, he can’t help but find it extremely sexy. Probably just because that’s all Haruka’s wearing right now, and that, if Sousuke were to run his hand up Haruka’s naked inner thigh, he most definitely wouldn’t encounter a single thread in the way to what he wants.

“I could be, if you want.”

“That’s gross.”

Sousuke laughs, successfully this time, and leans in closer. He legs his hand smooth down Haruka’s—really, _really_ ugly—sweater, and then in under it to let his fingers brush against the inside of Haruka’s thigh. He notices Haruka’s shiver, the way he bites his lower lip, and how he struggles _so hard_ with not reacting. Cute.

“I’m honoured you did all of this for me,” he murmurs into Haruka’s ear. “It’s quite the Christmas gift.”

“What if it’s for myself?” Haruka retorts, but Sousuke knows he’s just embarrassed.

All signs of embarrassment slowly dissipate with Haruka being fingered, followed by his hands on the counter and Sousuke fucking him against it. Haruka had been just about to take his sweater off, but Sousuke told him to keep it on so that there’d be at least _some_ Christmas spirit in the house.

(They’re both too lazy to decorate, which Makoto _always_ complains about being a shame.)

“Sousuke,” Haruka breathes. “It’s—it’s too good. I’m gonna come.”

“Then come.”

Haruka ruts back against him shamelessly, moaning, breathing heavily, and Sousuke’s hands on Haruka’s hips automatically grasp the sweater he’s still wearing. It’s the ugliest fucking sweater Sousuke’s ever laid his eyes upon, but the fact that Haruka had been wearing _just_ the sweater just set him off. Why Haruka has this kind of power over him, he has no idea. It’s dangerous, that’s what it is.

“Sousuke, Sousuke, Sou—“

And then Sousuke hears a thud. A _really_ hard slam against the countertop, and he flinches, immediately going still.

“Haruka?”

Haruka doesn’t respond. Sousuke quickly takes his cock out and goes over to Haruka’s side to check up on him, and when he realises what’s happened—what _caused_ it to happen—he doesn’t know whether to groan out loud, to scream, or to just laugh at how fucking dumb he’d been. All he knows is that he’s hurrying to get both himself and an unconscious boyfriend at least _somewhat_ dressed to take both of them to the emergency room.

 

* * *

 

Thankfully, Haruka wakes up in the car on the way to the hospital, but he throws up just as they make it out of the car in the car park. Sousuke has to lead him into the reception whilst also helping Haruka hold up what has to be the fifteenth tissue that night to his nose to keep it from dripping all over the place. He doesn’t even have to say much to the receptionist as they walk in, as she just asks him for a name, and then tells them to sit in the waiting room.

Sousuke wonders, as they’re sitting there among all of these people with various injuries, just how long they’re going to have to sit there. If Haruka’s going to pass out again, if he’s going to throw _up_ again… there are many things on his mind right now, and he doesn’t know which to worry about the most.

“Nanase Haruka-san?”

Haruka makes an effort to get up, but Sousuke’s already there to help him. A nurse comes to meet them, and signs for Sousuke to sit down again, probably trying to tell him that Haruka will be in good hands and that he isn’t needed right now. He chooses to trust her, and sits right back down with a sigh.

It takes about two hours, but then Haruka _finally_ comes back out into the waiting room. His nose is covered in probably several layers of bandages and surgical tape, but other than that, he looks fine.

“Broken nose and a mild concussion, but I’m good to go, since they gave me pretty strong pills,” Haruka says, probably sensing Sousuke’s incoming onslaught of questions.

Sousuke nods, still a little shocked by the entire thing, not to mention embarrassed. He wonders if Haruka had to explain to the doctors and nurses what happened, but doesn’t ask. It’s probably best if he doesn’t know.

When they sit down in the car again, Sousuke glances over at Haruka—oh, how _pitiful_ he looks like that—and down his sweater. He shudders, an insight hitting him like a boxing glove to the jaw.

“You know, I should’ve told you to roll up your sleeves before I decided to fuck you against the kitchen counter.”

Haruka turns to face him with a glare and a general look that says ‘you don’t say’, and Sousuke wonders if he should fear for his life right now. At least _he’s_ the one in front of the wheel. “Well, _yeah_ , you should have, asshole. Now I’ve had a concussion and I have a broken nose.”

“Happy Christmas,” Sousuke says in the sweetest, most disgusting voice he can muster as he leans forward to kiss Haruka on his temple. Haruka slaps him on the arm, and then pouts all the way back home.

“I’m burning this sweater the minute we get home,” Haruka grumbles upon arriving outside. Sousuke fights back the urge to raise his fist in a victorious manner, and just nods solemnly.

“It’s probably for the best.”

“You’re just relieved because you’re getting what you want. Also, you still owe me an orgasm, you ass."

Sousuke snorts out a laugh. "Right, I forgot. Well, that's nothing we can't fix. But we're not having sex in the kitchen."

"And I'm not wearing a single piece of clothing this time."

Sousuke shudders again. "Good."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.
> 
> [radiodread](http://radiodread.tumblr.com) @ tumblr


End file.
